Invictus and other achievements.

The past few weeks have seen many sporting events taking place. The Invictus Games, the brainchild of Prince Harry was spawned to showcase the sporting abilities of injured service men and women. These are ordinary people made extraordinary through the spoils of war. Encounters with essentially political enemies have left these selfless people missing limbs, senses, and for some, a portion of their essential selves. The Invictus Games have given them a purpose to channel their obvious competitiveness.
More locally, some of our players and friends have taken part in competitions home and abroad.
The Sainsbury’s School Games offers annual opportunities for young sports players to compete with others from all over the country. The competition features a variety of sports, and Panther Sam Wilson took up the baton to help represent the North of England in the wheelchair basketball. A hard fought tournament resulted in Silver medals for England North, with England Central taking the gold.
Also, in the sports news, the mens Under 22 GB team took a magnificent Gold in the European Championships in Spain.

Wheelchair sports show the reality of disability to the masses.
Disability, deformity and amputation is obvious during wheelchair sports when prosthetic limbs are detached, and short, or stump limbs are literally laid bare. This is a brave thing to do, and has very much been the focus of the Invictus Games, hosted in London. The facilities used for the 2012 Olympic and Paralympic Games were re-used and made the ‘superhumans’ the public focus once again. There’s some debate around whether games for injured service personnel goes some way to glorifying war. I think any of the participants, now suffering physical and mental trauma will disagree with any glory in war. These people are now rebuilding their lives, and therapy of sport as a means to achieve and as an outlet for competitiveness can only be a positive thing. These people, particularly, have fought for freedom, for their country’s independence and identity, and now fight to hold onto themselves and deal with their altered day-to-day lives.

Earlier this week, the Scottish Referendum returned a ‘No’ vote. There will be some Scottish people who are disappointed. There are many who are pleased. As citizens so close to the Scottish Border, the North of England would have been affected by an independent Scotland rather more than many other areas of Britain. As sportsmen and women, all our players are proud to represent both our club, and our regions, and we have players who have represented Scotland as well as England. We are happy we can continue this collaboration with Scottish clubs, as well as English ones in other regions.
We are all people, we are all masters of our own fate, and all our sporting achievements, home and away, should be celebrated equally.

Invictus

by William Ernest Henley 1849–1903

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.

National Paralympic Day – a questionable legacy?

30th August 2014 is National Paralympic Day; a day to celebrate disability sport and to reflect on the Paralympic London 2012 legacy.
The question that troubles me is whether the Paralympic legacy is one which actually fosters inequality and prejudice against disabled people.
Paralympians are touted as ‘super-humans’ and the stark facts of disability are easily forgotten when watching these super-athletes breaking records, achieving extraordinary sporting triumphs. All this achievement means that the stark realities of living with a disabled body can be overlooked by the spectators, fostering the aforementioned incorrect prejudices.
Any sports person will tell you that sport and training can hurt. Pushing yourself to achieve makes your body ache.
So when you’re watching the achievements of Hannah Cockcroft, Jonnie Peacock and the like, remember the training and dedication that went into this. But also remember, when these legendary sportsmen and women are not ‘doing their thing’ on track, field, pool etc. they are dealing with everyday life with a body that needs help.
If you live life in a wheelchair, you deal with the practicalities of too-small doorways, non-existent or inadequate access ramps, potholes, disabled toilets used as broom-cupboards or storage space, people with little children using the larger changing room in shops, swimming pools or sports-centres. You are on level with vehicle exhausts, you are much shorter than shop counters, miles lower than the chip-and-pin machine.
Then there’s the fact that your arms are your means of getting around, dragging not only your body, but also the weight of your chair. There’s the potential for pressure sores, damaged joints, being ignored!
Whatever your disability there’s also the prospect of discrimination – deaf people not being able to travel alone, or occupy certain seats on a plane; hotels and restaurants reluctant to admit assistance dogs.
For even the Paralympic superhero, there’s the problems of ‘normal disabilities too.
Catheters and colostomies, medication, stair lifts, hoists, crutches, prosthetics, orthotics, pain clinics, physiotherapists and many other professions, and pieces of equipment become as familiar as the aches, pains, or lack of any sensation at all that are ‘business as usual’ for the ‘abnormal’.
Admiration for the superhumans should encompass the additional day-to-day challenges of every single disabled person, because, in their own personal way, they are all, every single one, a superhuman, and I admire you all.

A spark extinguished – a sombre post.

August 12th 2014 saw the world waking up to the news of the demise of actor and comedian Robin Williams.

His death, which has been linked to mental illness, has highlighted the potential seriousness of depression. His battle was public, struggle documented and his tributes in the media are using a quote of his; “I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It is not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone.”
In Williams’ death, the world has lost an intelligent and talented actor and funny-man. His family has lost a father, husband, grandfather. Initial reports link this apparent suicide to severe depression, and around the world, no doubt, many people are pausing, closing their eyes and remembering others lost to this terrible disorder. Many succumb to a final end, either through accidental or intentional drug overdose, or by more mechanical means. There will be reports, studies, statistics, none of which will be any help to those left behind, or those still fighting the fight.
I have written about the ‘black dog’ before. I still have no answers, I hold no essential comfort. There will always be times where people like Robin Williams feel so alone in the crowd that all they can see is the final exit.
Unfortunately, physical disability and depression are often found hand in hand. Dealing with living a minority life, for any reason at all, whether you’re blind, deaf, use prosthetic limbs, a wheelchair, are heavily tattooed, homosexual, bisexual, transgender, or are just a traffic warden, can have its trials. Inclusive sport can be a way to level the playing field. Even if you’re able-bodied, the challenge of facing regular wheelchair users on the sports court can be daunting. You may excel at shooting baskets through the ten-foot hoop, whilst you’re standing under it, but what about from a seated position, on wheels? More tricky? Definitely!
Attending a sports club can also raise endorphins, which help to combat depression.
Alongside depression, disability robs a sense of spontaneity. If any trip, excursion or outing needs complex planning, the sense of independence and spontaneity is dramatically reduced. In an inclusive world, this would not be the case. Having to plan carefully your route, so it’s accessible, make sure the hotels can accommodate equipment, even provide accessible bathrooms is time-consuming, should be easy but often isn’t. Catering for basic human needs is taken for granted by the vast majority of the population; those that don’t realise the upstairs dining room, or the tiny bathroom with no separate shower, no grab rails, is a certain deal breaker and show stopper for some.
All these things, along with anxiety and depressive disorders are insufficiently discussed. They are not ‘mainstream’ enough, and yet, they affect so many people. They are hidden disabilities, taking away the essence of spontaneity, removing even spontaneous joy of thought.
They need to be discussed.
Robin Williams’ death has been the loss of a ‘national treasure’. For every single person who feels the end of their tether approaching, we owe it to ourselves and them to discuss mental health and disability more openly. Only when these things are common-place, and not stigmatised will we ever stand a chance of identifying and helping those who feel alone in the crowd.

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The Fault in our…. tolerance?

Dear Reader, I have something on my mind, I feel I need to get straight.

Those of you who know me will be aware, but many of you are not; I am not, myself, a physically disabled person. On official forms, to the question ‘do you consider yourself disabled?’ I have to check the ‘No’ box. If you have read earlier posts, (massive thanks to you, for a start!), you will already be aware of my premise that everyone has something that disables them, so the fact that I must tick that ‘No’ box seems to be a little hypocritical.

This whole thing implies that in order to appropriately wear the ‘disability’ label, your problem must be obvious to the outside world, and indeed, this whole misconception has spawned an industry of slogan tee-shirts and bumper stickers proclaiming that disability is even less obvious in some cases than bigoted stupidity. Of course, even obvious disability is not accepted. A recent cinema trip with a wheelchair user had both of us feeling the stares when the new ‘End the Awkward’ Scope ad was screened. Sitting near the front of the auditorium and the only chair-user in the house meant that the eyes of the whole of the rest of the entire audience homed in on us. We almost turned to take a bow!

So, is this a) lack of tolerance, b) lack of awareness, c) pity, d) envy, or e) stupidity? Answers on a postcard, as the TV used to request.

I have a childless acquaintance who expresses annoyance on a regular basis, that employers give provision to new parents for additional leave, and are more flexible with mothers on the payroll. Their gripe is that their own life choices are penalising them and that these additional ‘perks should be available to all. Is this also the reason that drivers without blue parking permits still take up the disabled designated parking spaces? Are there really people who envy such things and consider these little assistances to be unfair perks? Do ‘able-bodied’ become annoyed that they are not congratulated on life in general? If you see a person in a wheelchair going about their ordinary daily business, shopping, walking the dog, do you admire the achievement? Does the fact that they are assisted in their life mean that mundane tasks should be celebrated? I’m sure if you asked that person they would have a less than favourable response! And, if you tried to congratulate a ‘normal’ person on their day to day living, how would that conversation go?

Anything you do in your day to day life should be cause for minor celebration, and we ought to be equally celebratory whether our fellow man is walking down the stairs, or taking the stairlift. Watch the latest teen sensation movie, the film adaptation of John Green’s The Fault in Our Stars, and see if you still disagree with celebrating each and every day… (word of warning… tissues should be issued with the popcorn!)

That’s what’s on my mind… If you would find it patronising to be congratulated on living another day, why is it ok to congratulate a disabled person for attempting to live a ‘normal’ life? I vote for equal opportunities congratulations. Last week, Lesley Ash was a contestant on Celebrity Masterchef. She is now more famous for botched facial cosmetic surgery and her use of a walking stick, following hospitalisation after injury caused by ‘energetic love-making’, than anything she has been involved with in her acting career. Nowhere in the Masterchef programmes was the use of a walking aid mentioned; Lesley was screened using it, but not as a big deal. Earlier this year, Richard Whitehead MBE, took part in the ITV programme. Splash, with Tom Daley. Competitive diving is not a Paralympic sport, but this didn’t stop a man with two prosthetic legs, and the fact that this is the case was not something Richard dwelt on during the programme. Skills win out, and shouldn’t that always be the case? We only get one shot at being the person you are today, and we should all definitely celebrate that.

End the Awkward

 

Currently, the cerebral palsy charity Scope is introducing a disability awareness campaign called ‘End the Awkward’, fronted by Alex Brooker. The idea is to give ‘able-bodied’ society tips on interaction with the disabled. This started me thinking about the dividing line. What kind of world is this where simple human interaction has been made awkward and difficult by the perception that there is essential difference, a vast chasm between the disabled community and the able-bodied?
There are many facets to this perceived divide; the recently disabled can allow inevitable bitterness and shock to colour their dealings with the society sector to which they feel they no longer belong. Consequently, any able-bodied people who’s only dealings have been as the receiving end of the wrath of the recently adapting may be reluctant to initiate further interaction in future.
Perhaps then, the awareness campaign should be targeted at the disabled too? After all, we are all just people. We all feel the same inside, and while everyone needs education to accept a minority group in society, the minority, no matter what group they are, should be aware of the efforts people are making towards integration. But, like all awareness and information campaigns, the trick is getting the word out to the right people. It’s often the case that the very people who need to listen just don’t, or won’t.
These days many older, (and not so much older people) are wont to complain about a lack of respect from the younger generation. Gone are the days when children were seen and not heard. It can be difficult to teach children the power of respect when they are not shown any, when they see poor examples from adults. In team sports, our players all know to listen to their coaches. The key to success is give and take in any sport, and more-so in inclusive sport, where any lack of ability or need for adaption is much more evident. Coaches need to adapt their style and, of course, the key is communication. It’s all too easy for everyone to ‘talk the talk’ in any situation, but when your name is in the frame, the key is whether you can ‘walk the walk’. For integration to work, for us to ‘End the Awkward’, we all have to walk the walk. If everyone just did what they said they would do, then ending the awkward would be so much easier. Solving the problems of society, achieving society as an harmonious whole is probably a pipe dream. Another old and clichéd saying is that the squeaky wheel gets the grease, meaning that he who shouts the loudest gets the attention. It’s up to all of us to shout loud and long about ending the awkward; people are keen to band together in the face of adversity and to fight a cause.
The impending European elections have brought out like-minded individuals to group together and there are many squeaky wheels. The power of a ‘party’ is dependant on getting their message across and in order to get our message across we need to follow their example.
Our sports should unite us, we work together to make our club a success. There should be no Awkward to have to end.
Any group of people, together or individually can have a hidden agenda.

At Cumbria Wheelchair Sports Club, our agenda is not hidden. It is to be a flagship for bridging the chasm of diversity.

Shout about it, spread our message to even the people who don’t want to listen, and sometimes to the ones who believe they already know.

End the Awkward

http://www.scope.org.uk/Scope/media/Images/Publication%20Directory/Current-attitudes-towards-disabled-people.pdf?ext=.pdf

http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/olympics/comment/alex-brooker-dont-get-hung-up-about-being-pc-theyre-tough-this-is-real-sport–enjoy-it-8092891.html

Challenging the perceptions and winning!

Human nature has built-in perception which helps us to assess situations. This is something which can keep us out of trouble, or land us in a whole load of it! Perception plays a large part in judgement, but it can mean you have predetermined ideas or preconceptions which can cloud your judgement. For many years, the classic clichés have existed – singing Welsh people, Essex girls, blonde bimbos, mean Scotsmen, hot-tempered red-heads, shell-suited unemployable Jeremy Kyle candidates… (for our American readers, see Jerry Springer!), badly behaved children and stroppy teenagers.  The first impressions can often be misleading here. Given the mixture of ages in our sports teams here at Cumbria Wheelchair Sports Club, it is always necessary to make sure our perception of behaviour is age appropriate as well as being disability aware, since some medical problems obviously affect behaviour too.
There’s also a perception, a discrimination relating to disabled people.
People with impairments, or different ability levels are often treated differently to others, are looked upon as mentally deficient, no matter what their level of ability is.
This is a preconception which we challenge every single day.
 We have good news to share to this end, when on Friday 29th November our own Nat Pattinson received the Performance Award for People with a Disability. Congratulations, Nat, it’s recognition for all your efforts.
This goes some way to further hammer home the unfairness of a warped perception of disabled people. It’s often difficult to be the centre of attention if you are different from the majority. Differences are not celebrated in the way they should be, and to stand out from the crowd should be applauded, rather than shunned.
So, if you do one thing today, please challenge someone’s perception… make someone think twice about the way they see you, and make sure you give them a great big smile while you do it!

http://www.cumbriacrack.com/2013/12/01/2013-cumbria-sports-awards-winners-named/

Making the most of it…..

What does ‘hope’ mean to you?  If you’re 5 years old, you may be hoping for a fabulous Christmas surprise.  If you’re a 16-year-old girl, maybe you’re hoping for romance, for a 16-year-old boy, you’re probably hoping for sex…  If you’re in your 20s, maybe you’re hoping for a successful career, fame and fortune.  When you have children, you hope they are happy, healthy and successful.  When you’re old, you hope you’ve lived your life well, that you’ve done everything you could, that you grabbed the opportunities when they appeared.

There are many clichés surrounding opportunities – there’s the advice to take every opportunity, that there’s a window of opportunity, and that opportunity knocks.  If you’re differently-abled, then the times for opportunity to knock may seem fewer and further between.  All the more reason, surely, to grab the ones that do come your way.

Perhaps your circumstances are obviously different, as a disabled person, with different challenges than the population majority.  Should this mean that you have fewer opportunities?  Perhaps the opportunities are just a little less obvious.

Judging by the number of high-profile ‘disabled’ people in the media, particularly following the Paralympics London 2012, there are ample opportunities for everyone to shine.

Whatever holds you back, it shouldn’t be your own perception of your ability, or your perception of opportunity.

Where there’s hope, there will be opportunity.  Everyone has the potential for personal greatness.

If you take up a sport with us, we’ll help you find opportunities, find yourself and your potential…

So… sink the putt, net the ball, make the shot, reach for the stars, but most of all, in the words of Adam Hills, or was it the Dalai Lama….

Touch the frog!

#is it ok?

http://www.adamhills.com/

Most Splendid… an Auntie Panther tells it like it is..

Another Guest Blog… round of applause, folks, for another willing volunteer….

Alrighty I’ll come clean early doors:  my name is Claire Ross and I’m not a Panther.  I’m related to one of your kind though, Holly McGrady?  Fun personality, fantastic hair and most likely goes on and on about her cool aunt?

Yes.

That’s right I’m Holly’s auntie.

Seriously though I am a big fan and I do have a disability, so bear with?

 I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in 1994 when I was 21; outdoors I now use a wheelchair full-time and just step to transfer. First let’s talk a little about activity. It’s important for both physical and mental health so if you’re able to embrace it, it’s invaluable. Physiotherapy has been crucial in helping me retain the mobility I currently have, and as with most degenerative conditions it can come down to ‘use it or lose it’. That’s why I support you folks. Not that I’m lumping together all types of disability because they are truly many and varied.  You may as well compare apples and aardvarks. However, the feeling of empowerment gained from physical activity is surely something we can all relate to. There’s no better coping strategy. So, we come to coping. I suppose I cope, I mean, better not bitter, right? Mostly better but occasionally bitter and sad for some plans I had that won’t now come to fruition.  I think it’s ok to go there; in fact sometimes I have to go there in order to come back. And then I make new plans. One of the most difficult ‘challenges’ we encounter in the disabled community has to be who I call ‘the normals’ AKA the able bodies.

These fall into several categories as follows:

The Over Apologetic and Sympathetic One.

This person, on realising they are blocking the path of a wheelchair user will throw their hands in the air and become very flustered whilst apologising as though they just stepped on the neck of your kitten. They will also tilt their head and look at you as though they can’t quite believe the terrible misfortune that has been visited upon you. If they’re very committed they some times tear up. If they’ve known but not seen you for a long time or knew you prior to visible disability they’ll tell you how attractive/funny/clever you are. I think they say this as they really have run out of things to apologise for. (Except in my case when it’s actually true)

The fixer and know-it-all

This one will assume to know everything about your condition and as a result your entire lifestyle, simply because their uncle once had a friend whose cousin twice removed who was also dealing with it. This person will either be completely cured or the opposite extreme. Either way they’ll enjoy sharing this with you to demonstrate their impressive knowledge. If this person overcame the challenges the Know-it-All will then begin to tell you how you can follow suit. This could take the form of your standard ‘no gluten/no dairy/no meat/no alcohol/no fun diet’ or it could involve drinking a tincture made from dried camel dung. Sometimes you’ll be able to buy these from Know-it-All, they’ll have the answer for whatever ails ya. You can spot the early signs of this easily: ££ will appear in their eyes and they’ll start to drool in anticipation as they think they’ve just bagged themselves a cash cow. They will make it their mission to ‘save’ you and as you go about your business they’ll skip up behind you and grab your wheelchair handles with an overly chirpy “I’ve got you!” I think they assume we’re incapable of asking for any help we need. Poor us. I hate these ones the most and my view is that they should be peed on by every member of The Wurzels*

Duke or Duchess Inappropriate

This person can also have Know-it-All traits, I think it’s because they have that extensive knowledge of our health issues it grants them access to the ‘members only’ part of our lives. They may ask intrusive questions about your relationships and intimacy. They also seem to have an unhealthy interest in your bathroom rituals.

The Scaredy-Cat

I have a one of these as a neighbour. I heard him all morning pottering about in his garden but the second I hauled my visibly disabled ass into view he scarpered back inside like his was on fire! Maybe he was worried I was going to tell him about my symptoms like some door-knocking religious zealots for our kind? Or perhaps force him to go and jam a fork through his kneecap so I could recruit him? Ha. He wasn’t nearly cool enough. I wonder if this type maybe slightly resentful of our hedonistic lifestyle funded entirely by the taxpayer and the generosity of David Cameron?**

Ordinary Joseph(ine)

These are like the badgers on Springwatch: they’re not consistently visible but it’s very exciting when they turn up. You’ll recognise them by their ability to interact with you as if you were the valid society member you are. They may have a disabled family member or just the requisite number of functioning brain cells not to define you by your disability. Joseph(ine) doesn’t see my visible symptoms nor ponder what lies beneath. They observe my preference for all things purple but query my appreciation of all things skull.***

I’m sorry I can’t offer any techniques on dealing with the problem categories but I hope I’ve raised a knowing smile or two. However you choose to deal with them I’m sure you’ll make it work – we’re all getting by however we can in every aspect of our disabled life and the right way is the way that works for you. Remember: You’re damned if you do, disappointed if you don’t; and never, ever, ever place ‘dis’ in your ability.

* British 70s Scrumpy and Western band that had a brand new combine harvester and were forever promising us the key.

** According to the Daily Mail

*** I don’t know why, I just like them. Maybe because they look so darn cheerful!

Note from ‘blogger’…. Huge thanks to my little sis for this guest blog!

Related articles

• Some Wheelchair Users Can Walk (chroniccosmetics.wordpress.com)
• Beth Griffiths: Why Are You Questioning My Need for a Wheelchair? (huffingtonpost.com)

What’s in a name?

I’m sure many  mothers out there have read the story below.  This is one person’s way of explaining having a disabled child.

Welcome to Holland

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability – to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this……

When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.  After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.” “Holland?!?” you say. “What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”  But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place.  So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around…. and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills….and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.  But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy… and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”  And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away… because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But… if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things … about Holland.

Emily Perl Kingsley  1987

Many people can identify with this.  There’s not many people who can say their lives have turned out how they imagined.  I am lucky to have my daughter.  She is a surviving twin, who was born almost 11 weeks prematurely.  She has cerebral palsy as a result.  But I wouldn’t say she’s my ‘Holland’.  Far from it.  She and her younger brother are the greatest adventure I’ve ever been on.  There have been times where I have felt physical pain that she will not be able to run around with her peers, with her brother, feel the wind in her hair whilst skipping along and playing like all the other children in the playground.  She’s never been one for dwelling on what she can’t do.  Now, she’s playing wheelchair basketball with the team, and I know she’s feeling the wind in her hair as she whizzes around the court.  She’s doing something she knows her peers can’t do, and she’s getting better every time she plays.

Disability is a personal thing, and everyone has their own disability, and their own way of dealing with that.  ‘But wait,’ I hear you say, ‘I’m not disabled…’  I would counter that argument.  You may not have a medical condition, you may not have a damaged body, but I assert that everyone has something that disables them.  Maybe you can’t drive, you have no sense of rhythm, or you’re afraid of the spider in the bath.  These things are your disability.  They mean there are things you can’t do.  You can’t drive, so you’ll never have a career as a taxi driver.  You have no rhythm so you’ll never star on Strictly Come Dancing.  You have a spider in the bath…… you get the idea.  There are some schools of thought that insist that conditions such as deafness should not be considered a disability.  Many parents of deaf children are convinced by the medical profession to have them undergo surgery for cochlea implants.  I know deaf people who would say this is unnecessary and I also know people who have lived with these implants for their childhood only to dispense with using them as they get older, and are accepted into the deaf community.  The deaf community is strong, so this is possible, particularly in more populated areas of the country.  That’s not to say this is the case for everyone.  Dame Evelyn Glennie is the first person in musical history to successfully create and sustain a full-time career as a solo percussionist.  She became profoundly deaf at age 12, and believes that deafness is misunderstood by the rest of the population.

Many people insist that what you’ve never had, you can’t miss.  Not always the case, I think.  Absolutely everyone has the ability to be envious of something someone else has, or is doing.  And what about the things you did have, and now don’t… are you allowed to miss those?  Anyone with a degenerative disease can surely be allowed to be a little melancholy about the progression of their condition.  Billy Connelly has sent out a press release today to tell the world that he’s undergone surgery for the early stages of prostate cancer.  He chose to tag onto that information the admission that he is suffering from Parkinson’s disease.  I’m sure, all over the world there are people who live day-to-day with this disease that are wondering how he is coping.  He will have the very best five-star treatment, but despite this, he’s only human.  He’ll feel the effects of co-ordination problems, just the same as every other sufferer.  Dealing with these conditions within your own  head is thought to be a very big issue for anyone recently diagnosed.  Counselling is often offered to people following diagnosis.  Everyone has their own way of dealing with it.  I can’t speak from personal experience, but ive heard that once you make peace in your own head with life changing events, such as dealing with not having control of your own body the way you used to, then you can find yourself again.

Inspirational stories which make the news, such as Angelina Jolie’s recent breast cancer preventative surgery,  Jean Dominique Bauby’s story of living with locked in syndrome (The diving bell and the butterfly), Christopher Reeve’s (Superman) story of campaigning for pioneering treatment for spinal patients, make the news because of celebrity status.  The emotions these people go through are exactly the same as for ‘ordinary people’.

It’s not just parents of disabled children who have  ‘what could have been’ moments.  These happen to everyone.  These are what makes us human, and what allows us to deal with whatever is thrown at us.

And for every single person reading this… you will have challenges in your life, you will be knocked down and get back up, you may not land in Italy or Holland, but wherever you end up, you are YOU! You are brilliant, and if you choose not to place ‘dis; in your ability, not to live  your life with a label, who knows what you can achieve???

#isitok…?

Adam Hills has made the #isitok… question humorous whilst tackling important issues and bringing them to the forefront of public awareness.  It takes a brave presenter to outline a well-known ‘comedian’s attempts to make fun of the Paralympics.  The audience was deathly silent, a real tumbleweed moment, as they took in how very non-pc this particular individual was, in an attempt to get a laugh.  This is the type of thing that gave Scottish comedian Frankie Boyle notoriety and made him extremely unpopular with a massive proportion of society.  Many people think it is ok to lose all semblance of manners when dealing with disabled people, old people, medical conditions, or indeed anyone who dares to be different.  For example, there’s a large wedge of society who think that a pregnant belly is public property.  People put their hands on you without preliminaries, even casual acquaintances want to feel your baby kick.  Back off folks!  Oh, and think about asking before you peer into the pram too!

So, that’s just one thing that’s not ok, but what about the less obvious?

Is it ok to tell a sick person everything you know about their condition, however upsetting this may be?  How about pointing out to someone who is about to embark upon harrowing medical treatment that you’ve heard it could make them infertile, or not work, or cause premature death?  News for them… no-one gets out alive!

Or maybe telling someone with a new hair-do that you liked it better before?  Insensitive enough for you?  How about asking a wheelchair user about their love-life, or their toilet habits?  This happens all the time and even affects people who should really know better.  Many years ago (!!), I had to tell my school teacher that I had to leave school early to get my ears syringed.. (pardon??).  She pointed out that her brother had this done and ended up with a perforated ear drum.. Terrified, I was!  Physically sick before a relatively straightforward procedure, just through the insensitivity of someone who absolutely should know better.  Personally it is my opinion that this lack of basic manners is driven by parents who do not correct their children and do not tell them that it is absolutely not ok to:

• stare
• point
• snigger
• say whatever they want.

Until you’ve been on the receiving end of this, there will be no change to spread tolerance.  There are many inspirational individuals, who may or may not have been exploited by the media, in television programmes such as Channel 4’s The Undateables, or the imaginatively  titled ‘Can have sex, will have sex’, which obviously thought it would draw in a larger audience by sounding like a porn film!  The people who have taken part in these programmes describe the experience as empowering, but personally, it seems to me like more of an excuse to increase the stations ratings rather than to be informative.  At the end of this post, there are some links to information on some people who could inspire you, rather than rely upon what mainstream TV producers think constitutes informative inclusion.

Martin Luther King had a dream, and in speaking out he helped to change the world.

It is our duty to speak out, to tell the world that discrimination, prejudice, intolerance and insensitive behaviour is NOT ok.

Educate your kids; the next generation should not have to be offensive like Frankie Boyle, or Jim Davidson in order to get attention.

http://www.autoblog.com/2013/08/22/richie-parker-nascar-no-arms-video/

http://www.lifewithoutlimbs.org/about-nick/bio/

http://www.myhandicap.com/com-handicap-role-models-lapper0.html

The disability blog run by the BBC, www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs/ouch most recent post (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-ouch-24030101), coincidentally is a sex and relationships special!

 

Finally, and topically, my tribute to all the souls lost on 9/11/2001. take a look at Michael Hingson’s website, http://michaelhingson.com/. Michael and his dog survived the attack and is an inspiration to us all.

Please get in touch with your views on this topic.